[Tainted.DC]

A friend gave me the site address to this place (www.textsfromlastnight.com) and I made a compiled list. Some pretty funny shit:

(678): better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole

(360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cause she must be swedish since she works there.


(540): my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
(703): just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit

(903): Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"


(201): know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
(310): your less of a man for seeing that

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"


(301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test